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What can be even more disheartening than seeing your beautiful, professional, well-educated sisterfriend still unattached is seeing a successful Black man settle down with someone of another ethnic group.
The immediate thought for many is, With all the gorgeous, accomplished Black women available, why didn't he choose one of us?
"There are some who really think that White or non-Black women are superior," Brooks says.
"I don't want these men anyway, because I'm not trying to be a part of somebody's intellectual development as a partner." Many of the sisters in her circle take the fact that some Black guys prefer women who don't look like their mothers personally.
"I have no doubt that I'm going to find the love that I want.
Who somebody else is dating doesn't pertain to me," she says.
It's complicated Toya Lachon, 43, of Washington, D.
C., says she feels frustrated, hurt and even betrayed when she sees Black men with women of other races, but happy when she sees Black women in an interracial relationship."I'm like, Yes, girl, do that," says Lachon. Women are taking control of their happiness."Dating interracially can still come with backlash for both Black men and women.
When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.
The Memphis attorney had always talked about finding the Cliff to her Clair and having brown babies for a real-life Cosby Show family.
So when she met a White accountant from Mississippi online in 2013, got engaged to him in 2014 and married him in 2015, her friends were shocked."When he proposed, they were like, "We didn't know it was that serious. " I had people question if this was what I wanted," says Meador, who serves as general counsel and vice-president at a nonprofit.
So it's no wonder we're thrilled for Black women who have found love—no matter the ethnicity of their partner.
Though Black men are still twice as likely as Black women to date outside their race, it seems more and more of us are becoming open to dating beyond the color line.
The ruling ultimately overturned the ban on interracial marriages.