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But it's like anything else – there's a way to do it successfully, and it's a great way to meet people you wouldn't normally meet.
He sounded perfectly pleasant so we met up for a date in Manchester. For 17 years my sex life wasn’t up to much, so it was nerve-racking when I first got into bed with someone else. The first man I slept with after my husband was someone I met through a tennis club. I knew I didn’t want a long-term relationship with him — he wasn’t my type — but I did find him attractive, so we booked a proper date. Everyone who posts their picture online will have used one from at least ten or 15 years ago. I’ve turned up to several dates where I’ve walked into a restaurant, seen the man I’m supposed to be meeting, but he looks more like his father.
(I know how that sounds: I cringe now just typing it.) But at the time, to us, it wasn't weird or taboo as much as this epic, forbidden romance. Before long we were all hanging out together, driving around in his car: T and me in the front, my friend and her boyfriend in the back. What I do remember is sitting on a couch with T., him putting on a Elton John song and telling me, in words I can't recall specifically, that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I just recall being almost to my house, when I told T. I could see my house now, coming up ahead."We need to discuss this," he said. Like me and Sydney, she will most likely yearn for attention at one point or another. But how can I teach her that it is just as OK to need that scrutiny to stop?