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We’ve all been in this situation: We go on a great first date, head home, and immediately start planning the next rendezvous. Waiting three days to reply to someone after a successful date prevents people from looking too eager or desperate, but the technique, thanks to dating apps and other modern conveniences, is becoming obsolete.We glance at our phone every 30 seconds in hopes of a text, or a call from our date, and grow impatient by their radio silence. In retrospect, if we were genuinely interested in our date, why didn’t we text first? In reality, it takes only seconds or minutes to text or call someone, even for the busiest professional.In a dating context, the brain experiences a similar sensation from the uncertainty of whether someone likes us or not.We tend to enjoy challenges, as long as they’re not impossible, and dating is no different.
When it comes to sexual selection, where mate choice exists, one sex is competitive with the same sex, while the other sex is choosy, or selective, when it comes to picking individuals with whom to mate.
Some men and women fail at playing hard to get because they overestimate how much the other person is interested, according to Gilliard.
A 2014 study in the echoes Gilliard’s belief: if a partner is already interested and likes you, posing a challenge can boost their desire.
Lynn Gilliard, author of “ Let Him Chase You,” believes this is why “some people are only interested if they think the person is unattainable, which is why some women gravitate toward married men and some men are even more persistent when they learn a woman is already taken."In a 2009 study in the , researchers presented women with a photo of their potential dream man.
Half of the women were told the man was single, while the other half were told he was in a relationship.
Bennett believes we are biologically programmed to play them because they test the evolutionary fitness of potential partners and their readiness for a long-term relationship.