Ground rules for dating a married man
Do you both share a fantasy you feel safe exploring together?
Are you equally comfortable with trying something new?
And remember, there’s no going back after you witness your partner with someone else, she adds.
Before you even begin to look for a third wheel, you need to be crystal clear with yourself—and your partner—about why you want to have a threesome in the first place, Joannides says.
If possible, consider grabbing coffee or a bite with your third before jumping into the action to ensure there's a good rapport. “Discuss with your partner what you’re OK with and what's off-limits,” Joannides says.
Boundaries are crucial when venturing into the territory of group sex, Marin says. Your threesome fantasy may vastly differ from the images your partner has in his or her head. “Also, ask the third what he or she is comfortable with and what things they wouldn’t want to do.
Be sure to listen to your third’s boundaries and needs as well, Joannides says.
In others, one person may actually want just to observe.Also, make sure you and your partner are feeling sexual chemistry with the third wheel, Joannides says.A threesome is not going to be enjoyable for everyone if there’s one person who’s just not into it. Who is allowed to have intercourse, make out with, or provide oral and manual stimulation to whom?"And once you're in the moment, make sure you respect the boundaries that you set in place beforehand," Marin says.“In the event you’re really unsure about what you’d like to do,” adds Joannides, “it’s probably not the best time for a threesome.”It should go without saying that anyone involved in a threesome has the right to stop at any time, for whatever reason, says Marin.
(Same goes when just two people are involved—in case you needed a reminder.) To make it easier for everyone, the couple and third must have a safe word, she explains, as well as a plan for what to do if things get hella weird.Does “doorstopper” mean the third party has to leave? Or that one person involved just needs a break for some in-a-pinch alone time to regroup?