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04-Jun-2016 08:16

You smell like Fritos, that's why I'm giving you this hungry stare - you're so hot you're gonna melt the elastic in my underwear.

There’s a huge sale going on in my bedroom right now.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. Is it just me or does this rag smell like chloroform?

My friends over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the fittest person in the room. [Attempt to rub it off] It won’t come off - it must be eternal... Hi, I’m a professional wrestler - can I get you in a headlock?